End of Summer
End of summer in my opinion. Last night of the season, we’ll be closing up shop and bringing it indoors, back to games of football on Xbox and PS2, and buying beer by the case every weekend for the game on Sunday.
Time to head back to my place. I’m feeling pretty tired, just want to take a break, nap for a while, and see what the day brings.
Sun’s starting to peak over the water, and starts to set fire to everything in sight. The light wakes her up briefly, and she turns her body toward me and leans upon my shoulder as I hurtle us forward at 45 miles per hour at 6:02 am on an August Sunday morning, and we’re ready to hop into my blue sheets, and pull up the blue comforter, and recline back upon the blue pillows, looking up at the blue ceiling, and drifting off into those modest yet impossible dreams of ours, the ones that seem to be the closest to the reality we wish for ourselves. We see ourselves as better people, more important people, more beautiful and adored, more evil, more mischievous, more pure and sterile, more cunning and stronger. Out of nowhere huge slimy lizard creatures pop out of the ocean as I am taking a walk along the beach with her, and just as we are about to make love, one of their razor sharp tails swoops by and slices her body in half, leaving me sitting with my hard erect penis sticking out of my plaid Old Navy boxers, covered in the blood, guts, and miscellaneous internal matter that was once my girlfriend and potentially future wife. Not knowing what to do, I pull my pants back up, and wipe the gore off of my glasses, and reach down upon the shoreline and find as many thin, round, smooth rocks that I could skip easily along the low tidal coastal water and attack the eyes and heads of these evil monsters. They sprays water high into the air, and shot mussels and assorted shellfish in my general direction, but I dodged them with the agility of a Cheshire cat, and began to perform various flips and exercises that one might see in a Mel Gibson action movie, except I was not armed with a gun. No, I was armed with a fierce collection of the hardest, sharpest, and most aerodynamic rocks this side of New Dorp. Like an expert ninja with his ninja stars, I shot my rocks out toward the fleet of lizards that reclines and awaited my offensive so as to offer their counter offensive, which might include more razor sharp tails, yet this time might include a full course meal consisting of me, me, me, me, me, me, and me. Fortune was on my side this day, and every rock struck their eyes, and blinded the creatures greatly, causing their saltwater tears to pollute the fresh saltwater of the Atlantic. They wept, and flailed, and attempted to find some happy medium in between the pain I had placed them in, and the joy of having killed my human lover. We found a truce with one another on that day, a truce which would live on even to this very day, as I write my tale of woe. The lizards fell backwards, down into the cold, dark heart of the ocean floor. There, a mighty crevice formed, causing a minor tsunami to flood the eastern seaboard for the next seven weeks. This crevice opened up to Hell, and it is there where the evil lizards now reside. The Dark Lord himself hath thrown thine creatures into thine furnace, where they forever wail, and grind their teeth.
